


The Cast of Amontilldao South Park

by FusiontaleAU



Category: South Park, The Cask of Amontillado - Edgar Allan Poe
Genre: Anger, Attempted Murder, Character Death, Drunken Confessions, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Inspired by Edgar Allan Poe, M/M, POV Kenny, Past Relationship(s), Revenge, Sad Eric Cartman, South Park: The Stick of Truth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:22:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FusiontaleAU/pseuds/FusiontaleAU
Summary: Kenny has put up with all of Cartman's insults and poor jokes for years.When Eric finally crosses the line, just how far will kenny go to take his revenge on Cartman?
Relationships: Eric Cartman/Leopold "Butters" Stotch
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	The Cast of Amontilldao South Park

"I have suffered heartbreak, agony, anger and depression. I bore them all, the best I can. But those misdeeds of his made me vow revenge against him. My spirit is not of this nature to display but what he showed to me was nothing short of an insult. I must not just punish this fatass, but to do it with impunity. I have laid everything for his arrival, and he fell right into my elaborate trap with just my words, wine and his sickness. Now, I wish to tell you how I did it."

He had a weak point, Eric Cartman. Although fatass was respected or that’s what he told himself and at times feared. He thought he was the best at his line of work as far as becoming the town drunk. Few townfolk have this talent. For the most part their enthusiasm is adopted to time and place, that way not to impose upon some of the people in South Park, nor god forbid, Satan himself. In a matter of speaking, Eric Cartman was a mastermind, but not as much as his absurd obsession with the devils wine.  
It was around dusk, one evening during a cold winter’s night, that i found him, he came up to me with an excessive warmth, for he had been drinking much earlier in the day, the fatass wore a suit, that similar to a wise fat wizard from the Stick of Truth. Cartman also wore large blue hat and some sort of garment that had been torn. The hat,being surrounded by a small bell and he stood smirking.  
I said to him; "Cartman! how lucky we meet tonight. and looking quite... Well, But i have a problem, I've just purchased a Pipe of the Recent Amontilldao , Or so it seems."  
"How?" Cartman snorted, "A Pipe? fucking impossible for a poor piece of shit like you, and in the middle of December?"  
"I have my doubts," I said;"I was foolish enough to pay the full price for it, without consulting you in the matter. But you were nowhere to be found, I was scared i may be getting screwed."  
Cartman at first laughs at my misfortune but he seems interested none the less.  
"Amontillado!"  
"Allegedly."  
"Amontillado!"  
"Perhaps..."  
"Amontillado!"  
"Yes, but seeing as you are busy, I'm off to find Kyle. If anyone knows much about wine, it is him."  
Cartman stops his fit of laughter, it seemed I touched a nerve,"You’re fucking kidding! Kyle could not tell beer from... From fucking pond water!" He retorted.  
"And yet I hear from Stan say his skill rivals your own." I said.  
"Fuck Stan! Let’s go!." He demanded.  
"What? Where?"  
" duh, where you are keeping the fucking beer." He grew impatient.  
"Oh, god no, i do not want to impose, you are already much, MUCH busy." I said sarcastically while rolling my eyes.  
"you do not impose!- 'He stumbled, and him kneeling, catching his breath, coughing while he tries to do so.  
-' As for that fucking jew, he cannot tell Pond water from beer." he finished.  
Saying that, the fatass fell forward, I hold out a hand and help the drunk fool on his feet.  
we walked into the deep woods, the sound of crickets sounded as we approached the entrance to the old broken South Park wine cellar .  
Cartman’s takes another drink from the beer that I had offered him just moments ago. Cartman was clearly lost in his own thoughts as he hadn't been thinking long when I stopped suddenly. Cartman in his drunken state shoved past me using his weight and looked and saw an alcove built into the wall. It went too deep into the darkness to see very far inside. If there was a barrel of anything in there, he would have to be closer to inspect it.  
"Just in there." I motioned with my head into the alcove.  
" fucking finally! Took your poor ass long enough!." Shaking off the uneasiness, Cartman began searching into the alcove, with only his flash light from his phone to light the way. Once in the alcove, he narrowed his brown eyes in confusion. The alcove was just deep enough for him to get all the way in. The ceiling was just high enough that it didn't touch the hat with bells. There was no cask of anything here; just a bare wall.  
The light from his phone shinned on something.  
"Are those... chains?"  
"Yes. Yes they are."  
My voice was right behind the poor fool. The fatass turned just in time to see my shovel hit him.

The low scraping sound slowly seeped its way into his mind. The darkness gave way to colors, first blurred then crystal clear. A dull pain thudded in his forehead with something wet dripping down his forehead, and he reached up... Touching the crimson blood on his fat fingers. "My... my fucking head..." He muttered groggily.  
"Yeah, sorry about that. But I couldn't have you moving around like that, it ruined the surprise"  
As his vision cleared, Cartman focused on my voice. The scraping sound he'd heard had been the scrape of the tools I was using to lay mortar and bricks along the alcove entrance. I was working hard, my forehead already slick with sweat. The new wall was four stacks high, and soon the fifth would be done. "Kenny... what are you doing?"  
"You had a bit too much to drink. It had a little more of a hit than you were hoping for. I've been trying to talk you into leaving, but you'll have none of it. So, I'll just have to leave you."  
"But I don't want to fucking stay here." Cartman was still quite groggy and not sure what was going on. "Here, I'll leave..." The fatass stood on wobbly legs and tried to move past the wall, but found himself unable to continue. Something was holding him back. he turned his head slowly... and found chains tied around his hands.  
The chains were attached to the wall.  
The wheels began to turn more quickly in Eric’s head, and he began to hyperventilate. Everything suddenly became shockingly clear, as did the sharp pain where I had stricken him.  
"There you go. I was wondering how long it would take your fatass to catch on."  
"But... but Kenny, why?"  
"Why?" For just a moment, I turned from my work and gazed coldly into Cartman's eyes. I spoke in a deep voice, sounding like Mysterion. "I've had to put up with your little jabs and insults for years, you fat asshole. Insults about my upbringing, my lifestyle, even about my family."  
" is that all? God take a fucking joke! that’s not even a reason to wall me up in the wine cellar! God damnit, kenny you black asshole let me go.."  
"Maybe they were just 'pranks' to you, but what you did to Butters was the nail in the coffin."  
Cartman's mouth dropped as the color drained from his face. "He... he told you?"  
" Yes, you broke him." I returned to my work, now laying the sixth layer. 

The stunned silence that followed lasted until I began work on the seventh layer. I made sure to leave a single brick out of place.

"What... what did he say happened?"  
" he layed his heart out for you and you stomped on it and laughed, I knew what had to be done." For a second time, I paused. My eyebrows raised in genuine interest. "Why, Cartman? Why'd you do it?"  
"Look, It was a mistake." Cartman cast his eyes down. "I was drunk and jealous besides it’s not like it was-"  
"He gave you his V-card dumbass and is that what you told him? That you would have to be drunk to be with a boy like him?"  
"Ay! Well, not in those exact words..."  
I shook my head disgusted and resumed my work. The seventh layer was soon complete.  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!" Cartman squealed like a pig at the top of his lungs. "SOMEONE PLEASE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"  
"No body can hear you, so save your breath. Not like anyone will come looking for your sorry ass."  
" fuck off, you poor fucking ass hole!"  
" I can’t believe you didn’t notice how heartbroken you made him! He kissed the ground you walked on fatass!”  
"Tsk, it’s not my fault he has a nice ass..."  
"He fell for you, you...you...Bastered!" I paused halfway through the eighth layer. I snorted in anger. "He thought he'd finally found someone who cared, someone who would treat him better then his own family. And you just broke his heart. Didn't even let him down softly. Hmph, he still loved you."

Cartman falls silent at those words and it almost felt like a cold slap to the face. In that moment it was then he finally realized the simple truth. Butters loved Eric Cartman.  
He opened his mouth, “ I didn’t know-"  
“No you didn’t." Shaking my head out of pity, I resumed working, " face it Carman, you don't care about anyone but your self"   
"How do you plan on explaining this to fucking everyone? To Butters?" Cartman did his best to keep the panic out of his own voice.  
he was failing. Miserably.  
“tsk, no one will even notice your gone but just in case, I wrote a nice long letter explaining how you ran off to another country. After that, everyone will just assume that you are too happy to even bother with your friends back home. Not like you had any to to start with. As to Butters... I'm sure he'll be fine."  
Cartman sniffed indignantly, noting that only two layers of bricks remained. His time was running out. "Alright, Kenny. Joke's over! HAHAHA! you can let me go now! Fun's over! Let us drink and settle this like men! ."  
"Oh, I dunno." I replied, starting work on the final layer. "I think we're settling just fine right here."  
The coolness and certainty in my voice finally caused Cartman mind to snap completely. he lunged at the wall and scraped at it as a rat would scratch at a trap. "FOR THE LOVE OF FUCKING GOD, KENNY!"  
"Yes, for the love of GOD." I returned, placing the last brick in the top row.  
The wall was completed. All that remained was the final brick, and the alcove would be sealed for all time.  
I peered into the hole, into the darkness. "Cartman?"  
The only response was the giggling of bells, as though they were dancing.  
Shaking my head, I laid the mortar and placed the final stone in its place.  
Silence.  
I breathed deep and reached up. Removing my Orange hoodie, I wiped my brow free from sweat and re-hid the remaining mortar and bricks. I reached down and grabbed the empty bottle. I reached up as high as i could go and placed it on a little out-cropping of brick. It was the only marker the fatass would have.  
For the half of a century, no one has disturbed him. In pace requiescat!


End file.
